Have you ever tried to change someone’s opinion? Have you ever had someone try to change your opinion? When it comes to communicating, attempting to convince someone to do something is usually a waste of time. People tend to hold tightly to the beliefs they have developed over time and trying to get a person to think differently is quite the challenge.
If you really want to have an impact on a person, try this. Instead of trying to change the person’s thinking, why not take the time to understand the person’s thinking? Dig deeper by asking questions. If you’re able to get to the root of his thinking, he will feel a great since of connection with you. Once you understand where the person is coming from, you and work with him toward a mutually beneficial goal.
Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Dale Carnegie, in his book How to Win Friends & Influence People, shares a quote from Henry Ford, If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as your own. Everyone wants to be heard, yet so few people truly listen. If you want to set yourself apart from the masses, take the time to listen.
Mr. Carnegie described the millionaire Andrew Carnegie as a person who learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. Andrew lacked a formal education, yet was a very successful businessman. How? He knew that working with a person to achieve what he wanted was the best way to be successful.
If he knew that a person wanted to be a good employee and advance in the company, he would capitalize on that and help the person to be the best employee he could be. This helped the person achieve their goal and helped the company gain a solid employee.
The key here is to first listen to the person to see what it is the person wants. Once you’ve tapped into that, fan that flame in order to help the person be successful.
How has someone came alongside of you and encouraged you?