In his book, How To Win Friends & Influence People, Mr. Dale Carnegie tells us the importance of making other people feel important. When questioned as to what he wanted from someone who he had complimented, Mr. Carnegie replied, If we are so contemptibly selfish that we can’t radiate a little happiness and pass on a bit of honest appreciation without trying to get something out of the other person in return – if our souls are no bigger than sour crab apples, we shall meet with the failure we so richly deserve. Oh yes, I did want something out of that chap. I wanted something priceless. And I got it. I got the feeling that I had done something for him without his being able to do anything whatever in return for me. That is a feeling that flows and sings in your memory long after the incident is past.
When interacting with a person, you should always strive to make the other person feel important. Mr. Carnegie goes on to say, You want the approval of those with whom you come in contact. You want recognition of your true worth. You want a feeling that you are important in your little world. You don’t want to listen to cheap, insincere flattery, but you do crave sincere appreciation. You want your friends and associates to be, as Charles Schwab put it, “hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.” All of us want that. So let’s obey the Golden Rule, and give unto others what we would have others give unto us.
In order to truly connect with someone else, you should help her to feel important. Why? Because deep down, we all want to feel important in some way. A simple way to do this is to find something about the person you admire and compliment the person on it. Everyone has good qualities. It may take a little searching from time to time, but those qualities are there. And if you want to impact a person in a very positive way, shine a light on that quality and watch the person light up.
How can you help those you come into contact with feel important?